Bob Must Get a City Permit. Get Ready for Verbal Pyrotechnics.

I should sell tickets for this event.

In mid May I am having a tornado cellar installed.  I finally found someone who would put extra dirt on top to enhance its utility as a root cellar/wine and beer aging cellar. Tornado King USA, out of Muskogee, if you’re interested.

Installation of a storm shelter requires a City Permit.  There was a recent article in the paper about how to do this, but it promised a bit more than the City Website delivered.  They have special forms for permits for fences, pools, and signs, and no form specifically for storm shelters. No list of the requirements to get the permit either. How easy would it be for them to have a page for “Storm Shelters”? Well, as someone who has literally hundreds of pages of info on the internet, I can tell you right now that a web page is damn easy to do and cheap too.  Certainly cheaper than having extra staff on hand to answer the calls from the THOUSANDS of people installing shelters this year.

So I had to make a phone call.  That started last week.  I was on hold for a long time and then got a message “leave a message and we’ll call you back.” I left a message and of course, no one called me back.  I tried again today and had better luck, and actually got a list of requirements, which I am posting here. We’ll see if this is actually the real list of requirements once I pile all this up and fax it in.  That is one improvement over my last attempt at a city permit during my extreme green renovation of 2005.  That required three trips downtown because I was told I needed different items. It would have required a fourth except that I made a scene and demanded to see a supervisor. Post permit event, I sent several scathing emails, scathing I say, about the 20th century business practices of the permit dept.  Now they have the ability to take applications by fax, and it only takes SEVEN TO TEN BUSINESS DAYS for them to get around to looking at the permit.

So I am presently scheduled for a mid May installation.  We’ll see if it happens.  Here are the requirements:

The shelter application requires —

  • Application (I downloaded that from their site)
  • Copy of the official plans
  • Letter signed by the engineer stating it will not float out fo the ground, it could also be a statement on the plans
  • Full site plan showing property lines and structures showing how far the shelter is away from the house and the property lines. They said I could do the drawing myself.

We live in Tornado Alley.  As far as OKC is concerned, everyone is On Their Own for tornado protection.  Schools and churches that used to provide public shelter space are closing their doors.  You would think that they would have an expedited, easy process that would encourage people to build storm shelters. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  We can’t do that can we?  How will they know they’re important down at City hall if they don’t force us to genuflect before them and pay for a “permit of privilege” that allows us to spend our own money to protect our lives and the lives of those we love by building a storm cellar on land that we have bought and paid for with our own hard earned money?

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