EASTER ISLAND SLAM DUNK!
Easter Island leaders hit a slam dunk for the Island with news that voters approved allocating the rest of the island’s coconut palms to build the Most Giant Statue Ever! “We really are creating a city where people want to be, and this is the beginning of a Golden Age for Easter Island. We are now a Most Giant Statue Island!”
The Mayor discounted the concerns of those opposed to the plan, such as “what will we eat if we chop down all the palm trees?” “First of all, there is no hunger on Easter Island. Everyone who says that there is hunger here is an activist with an agenda.* Second, we all know how ‘those kind of people’ think. They want us to be frugal and conservative with public expenditures and take care of important needs first, but yesterday’s vote is a clear statement that in the race between the Grasshoppers and the Ants, the Grasshoppers are certainly slam dunk victorious. Besides, what is more important than building the Most Giant Statue ever?”
* This was an actual statement made privately by Mayor Mick Cornett of Oklahoma City to a reporter from Seattle.
